


Read Between the Lines

by C1oudStrife



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alcohol, Demon! Xehanort, Eye Trauma, M/M, Soulmate AU, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2019-09-18 09:42:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16992609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C1oudStrife/pseuds/C1oudStrife
Summary: When teenagers reach puberty, their bodies undergo various changes. One such change is the addition of a soulmate mark, one's soulmate's name written across their chest, right above their heart. In Radiant Garden, it's one of the biggest events of a person's life.When Braig receives his soulmate mark, he's horrified to find that it's complete nonsensical scribbles - a phenomenon he hadn't been prepared for and had never heard of. Confused and ashamed, Braig hides his soulmate mark, and joins the Royal Guard in an attempt to learn more about the blemish inked into his skin.Unfortunately, things only escalate from there.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> haha another multichap fic  
> these are my life now
> 
> i promise the heavy ratings will make sense in a later chapter but for now just trust me  
> i just wanted to get them on there before i forget dhfsdf

Puberty was an interesting time for any young teen. The body changes, the mind develops, and hormones rage. However, the biggest event, at least for Radiant Garden, was the detail that during a child’s pubescent years, the name of their soulmate would appear on their chest, right above their heart. The name would stay there, well into adulthood, marking their body with the name of their beloved from that day forward.

Braig, having grown up in the bolstering, beautiful city, found the phenomenon exciting. His mother always had his father’s name on display, wearing low-cut shirts so everyone could view her love and adoration for him. Braig’s father always loved to tell stories about how the markings helped them find each other. As a child, he always dreamed of the day that his soulmate’s name would appear.

Therefore, it became a disappointing shock the day it finally did appear.

It had happened early in the morning, when Braig first woke up. He saw the marking on his chest while he was changing out of his pajamas, and had quickly rushed to the bathroom mirror to investigate.

To his dismay, the name on his chest, if it could even be called that, was nothing more than garbled nonsense. He stared at it in any angle he could, but there was absolutely no way to form a name from the useless scribbles. At most the best he could make out from it was a large X-shape crossing through it, directly over his heart, but for all he knew he was just imagining letters trying to make sense of nothing.

Braig had absolutely no idea what it meant. He wondered if perhaps the name just hadn’t quite formed yet, but his friends who had already gotten their name-based marks all had described it as a sudden occurrence, with the name perfectly clear.

Aromanticism was also a documented possibility. However, in most cases, no lettering would appear for the aromantic in question at all, or a name would appear and the aromantic person could discuss options with their soulmate should they be found.

This seemed a completely different, confusing, stressful phenomenon. The final emotion Braig found himself feeling was shame. 

He never really considered himself ashamed of his body before, but he certainly felt it in that moment. The soulmate marks were such an important part of life in Radiant Garden and his was ruined and strange.

Braig finished getting dressed, careful to hide his mark. There was no way he could ask his parents for help. They were so proud of their own marks, what if they found his shameful? His friends were out of the question as well. They were snobbish when they wanted to be, he’d be digging his own grave venting to them about such an issue.

There wasn’t anyone else Braig could really think of to go to for help, so in the end, he decided to hide his mark. Physically it wasn’t too hard, at least. He really just had to be sure to keep an eye on how low the necklines on his shirts were cut. To be extra safe, and to just make himself feel more comfortable, he got a good-sized red scarf as well, that he kept tied around his neck to hide whatever bit of skin dared peek out from the top of his shirts. Perhaps it was a focal point, but he convinced himself it just meant people would notice the scarf before wondering about the garbled mark on his chest.

Mentally, though, his mark was far more of a burden. Marks were the biggest conversation in school. Who had what names, people playing matchmakers, Braig found himself more conscious and terrified than usual of his friends ever including him. They had already made big deals before about each others’ marks when someone new got one.

Braig ended up convincing himself to spend his next few years in school as alone as he could be. He avoided whatever idle conversation he could in pure fear of ever being asked about his soulmate mark or his romantic future.

It was a lonely endeavor, but as far as he was concerned, it was at least safe.

Braig graduated quietly with his secret intact. From there, he got a job quickly, working among the Royal Guard.

In a peaceful city, it was a relatively simple job, but Braig had deeper motives for taking it. Ansem the Wise, the Guard’s main charge, was a renowned scientist who was well known for working with the sciences of the heart and soulmate marks. Guards were allowed access to his labs and, should they prove useful among his apprentices, could be granted a role as another of his students. It was probably the best chance Braig had at finding out answers to his mysterious mark.

The easiest route to an answer would probably to have been to mention it to Ansem himself, or one of his apprentices, but Braig didn’t trust the idea that much. He didn’t want to be some sort of lab subject just because he was different. Besides, with how much it had haunted his life already, he felt comfortably at home peering through the known research the Royal Guard was allowed access to. With or without his answer, Braig wanted to become an apprentice, and solve what things he could for himself.

Braig’s mind was made up, and he set his plan in motion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i have quite the uploading surprise  
> i couldn't go online for a while, so i worked really hard on getting a few chapters done of this fic in particular!  
> i don't know if i'll get them all at once but i'm going to start uploading them! enjoy
> 
> WARNING for this chapter: it's the eye trauma one

Years passed since Braig had joined the Royal Guard and started work getting Ansem the Wise to recognize him as an official apprentice. It was starting to get frustrating, to say the least.

Unofficially, Braig was allowed to do whatever he wanted. He’d written reports and contributed to plenty of discoveries since his employment. Officially, however, he wasn’t allowed to put his own name on any of his work. Anything written by Braig was usually rewritten under Ansem’s name, or under the name of the newest apprentice, Ienzo.

Ansem’s reasoning was apparently appearances. The professionalism of both a lab and a report based solely on the name the writing is credited toward. An actual scientist or the prodigy of a young apprentice was more likely to bring in a good review over a simple guardsman rummaging around the workplace.

Braig hated it.

He’d never realized before how aggravating it was to have to sit back and pretend he didn’t put his very heart and soul into something. It felt almost insulting the days he was called into Ansem’s office and saw trophies with the elder’s name on them sitting on a shelf for work Braig knew he had done.

Perhaps it was the obvious display of absolute disinterest that turned into the last straw for Braig, or perhaps it was several years of being brushed aside, but eventually he just had enough of it.

Braig was the kind of person to take matters into his own hands should the need arise. As the days went on, the situation seemed quite the opportunity to do so.

On the bright side, working with a lab stationed in a castle meant there were plenty of places to get research and ideas for a solution to just about any problem Braig had. Namely, the library overflowed with plenty of books varying several topics to choose from.

In this specific case, it was something of a spellbook. Ansem kept a few in stock, but the noteworthy inclusion of black magic set the specific book Braig borrowed apart from the rest.

Braig decided his best option was to take the book back home. It would be easier to read through and mess with without anyone getting nosy that way.

Of course, Braig wasn't a big fan of going deep into magical studies. It wasn't really his area of interest. Sure, studying soulmate marks led to some magical properties being discovered here and there, but Braig preferred keeping that whole side project at minimal interest. Far too much of a distraction if he went too deep into it.

As a result he flipped somewhat absently through the pages of the dark book. His only goal with it was to get back at Ansem somehow, he didn’t really need any of the “Raise the Dead” or “Train a Baby Monster” or whatever other odd things the book had to offer. He ended up combing through most of the book before a page finally caught his interest.

“Demon Summoning Spell.”

The amount of warnings about danger and caution were more what ended up catching his interest. They took up most of the page before actually getting to the spell, which turned out to be less of a page and more of its own chapter. There was some information about the demon the spell would summon, with one of the warnings noting that the more a summoner knew about it, the better they were going in.

The demon, apparently, was cunning, and very hostile despite however he appeared. Drawings were included with the chapter, but it was hard to decipher much from their sketchiness and the strange smears all over them, as if someone had been drawing so fast that they ended up smudging the entire thing with their arm.

It was probably a bit much to summon an apparently dangerous demon to solve Braig’s problem, but at the same time it also felt pretty rewarding if he’d be able to pull it off. Summoning such a being and getting his help would certainly get Braig the attention he deserved.

The spell didn’t seem too difficult for a beginner to set up. It was mainly a summoning circle and a warning to keep an object ready as an offering.

Braig found some old paint to use for building the summoning circle. He moved some small pieces of furniture out of the way and drew it so that it covered most of the floor.

According to the book, the next step was a summoning catalyst. The best that Braig had out of the options the book gave was an old candle, which he melted so that most of the wax was freshly wet. Once he was comfortable with it, he blew it out, and set the hot, unlit candle in the middle of the circle. He winced as some of the hot wax managed to barely touch his skin and quickly backed away once the circle was properly placed.

Next was the spell, which took some time to figure out pronunciations before he was ready to try it. It looked like someone had fused together Latin and Greek to form some sort of awful attempt at a sentence. At the very least, after a couple false starts, Braig finally managed to spit out the words.

Almost as soon as the final word was out of his mouth, the room went dark, save for the candle somehow burning a deep red. The shadows seemed to bend and warp around the small light, and Braig shivered as the feeling of another presence began looming among them.

Bright yellow eyes with slitted pupils suddenly shot open above the candle, and extinguished the last of the light, save for their new threatening glow. A low hiss filled the room, along with a sound that could only be considered the sound of bones snapping and locking into place as the creature entered the realm.

The sounds quieted after a few moments of horror, replaced by wing beats, until finally the lights flickered back on.

What stood in front of Braig could only be described with the words beautiful horror. It was a demon, no doubt, with giant black wings and horns flowing through its long silver hair. A tail started fluffy at the base until it sharpened to a knife-like point at the tip. The beast had hands, but they were more clawed, and covered in hard, glistening scales.

Along with the murderous weapons, though, it had a surprisingly human face. It stood only slightly shorter than Braig, but made up for its height with a notably threatening aura.

The demon fixed its eyes on Braig and he had to force himself not to flinch.

Braig held the book protectively close to himself.

The demon smiled at him, though as if like a predator eyeing its prey. “So, you’re the one who summoned me.” Its voice was low, yet delicate.

“I am.” Braig steadied his voice and refused to look away from the demon’s steady gaze. He tried hard to recall the words the book informed him to speak. “My name is Braig. I require your services, and thus I summon you as an equal servant.”

“Is that so?”

Braig nodded.

The demon stepped closer, standing at the inner edge of the circle. “My services require payment and respect.”

“Which I will gladly offer, whatever you name.”

The demon narrowed its eyes. “On your knees, then.”

An odd request, but Braig complied. He sat down on his knees, thus placing him shorter than the demon.

The demon placed a hand on top of Braig’s head. It trailed its clawed fingers down along his face with surprising gentleness, until it stopped at a point where it was just barely caressing his cheek.

Then, it suddenly plunged its claws directly into Braig’s eye socket, and forcefully tugged his eye out. Braig screamed in pain, and attempted to pull his head away, causing a stray claw to rake across his other cheek. He fell to the ground and held his hands over the bleeding hole in his head.

The demon seemed completely emotionless about the whole ordeal. “From this day forward, until the end of our contract, you shall be known as Xigbar. It is a pleasure doing business with you.”

Xigbar simply curled up in pain as a response. Agony pulsed through his head, and not long after the demon finished speaking, he passed out completely.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for this chapter: there's some dickish comments about suicide and suicidal ideation

Xigbar groaned as consciousness slowly returned to him. Almost instantly, a pounding ache started ringing through his skull, and he reached up to his face in a weak attempt to cling and stop it.

A pair of hands grabbed his arms and pushed them back down again. “Careful. Just lie still.”

That was Even’s voice. What was Even doing in his house?

Despite the pain now starting to center toward his eye, Xigbar forced himself to push away the last remnants of drowsiness. He slowly worked open his eyes, and the first signs that something was very wrong made themselves clear.

His vision was… off. He couldn’t place why, at first, but after looking around for a bit the memory of just before he passed out came rushing back. He reached for the empty socket in his face again, just to make sure, and Even hopped back into view to grab his arm. 

“I said hold still! You don’t need to make that worse.”

Xigbar grumbled, but complied. He went limp as best he could, but he could feel how tense his body was. Likely some form of shock, and worry over the injury wasn’t helping. For the moment, at least until Even decided to stop hovering over him, Xigbar decided to change his priority and focus on deep breaths to calm himself down.

Even seemed content with Xigbar’s reaction and let him go, though stayed noticeably close. “Ansem the Wise will be here shortly. Likely he’s going to want to know what caused this.” He gestured at Xigbar’s face, no doubt referencing his eye.

“Yeah, yeah.” He was probably going to have to figure out some excuse for it. Summoning a demon to get revenge wouldn’t exactly work as well if everyone already knew about it.

Speaking of the demon, Xigbar looked around to see if it had ended up staying somewhere Even could see it, only to realize he wasn’t actually in his home anymore. Xigbar was lying on top of what felt like a metal lab table, and the rest of the room had enough cupboards and sterile equipment around to suggest it was a tiny lab that had been repurposed into a personal medical room.

Xigbar opened his mouth to make a comment, when there was a knock on the door, and Ansem himself stepped in. Ansem looked at Even, and the lower ranking scientist bowed his head and quickly left the room.

Xigbar turned his head to meet Ansem’s careful gaze, which admittedly felt uncomfortably awkward with one eye missing. Ansem likely noticed the tension as well, as he instantly got to the question Xigbar would have preferred he avoided. “So, would you care to inform me how this happened?”

“Uh…” Something simple, hard to trace, but believable. “Got into a scuffle while I was on duty. The castle comes before our lives, right?”

Ansem’s eyes narrowed. “I see. Now, the true reason?”

“That is the real reason.”

“Dilan and Aeleus spent the entire morning searching for you. Aeleus found you passed out in your own home, facedown in your own blood. There were no signs of a struggle, or forced entry, and save for your injury there were no other signs you were recently in a fight.”

So Aeleus was the one who broke into his house. Xigbar made a mental note as he processed the rest of the evidence. Was Ansem waiting for him to mention the summoning circle? It would have been impossible to miss with the amount of searching it sounded like they’d done. “Well… shit happens.” That was the worst excuse possible, but it was the best he had. “...I at least still get paid, right?”

“Consider your lack of income this week as punishment for your childish actions.”

“Wait… what?” What was he getting punished for? If Ansem found the summoning circle, he probably would have been fired instead. He mentally went back through everything Ansem had told him again. “Wait… You don’t… think I tried killing myself in there or something, do you?”

“Until you’d like to share the true story, it’s the best answer we have.”

“What? Seriously? My fucking eye is missing! Who does that kind of thing and comes out of it with nothing but a missing eye?”

“That would be what I was asking you.”

Xigbar glared. He didn’t have an answer without revealing the truth.

Ansem seemed equally aware that Xigbar wasn’t going to budge despite the odds stacked against him, and simply turned away as if the conversation was over. “You’ll get a few days, unpaid, to recover from your injuries and adapt to your new range of sight. Aeleus and Dilan await your return on the earliest convenient day.”

With those words, Ansem left. Xigbar repeated them in a mock tone under his breath. How anyone ever felt happy working under the guy, Xigbar would never know. Ansem would work people to the bone just for his own public image, if he wasn’t doing that enough already.

Even stepped back into the room with a few bottles of medication, and set them on the makeshift bed next to Xigbar. “These are painkillers and a new antibiotic I’m trying out, should you need them. I just need to check the wound once more and then you can go, but return periodically so I can make sure it’s healing correctly.”

“Sure, whatever.” Xigbar likely wouldn’t visit, but Even would probably just hunt him down to check on it anyway, so the instructions didn’t really matter to him.

Even removed the bandages from Xigbar’s face, not actually improving his vision to the sharpshooter’s dismay, and carefully cleaned the wound for what was probably at least the second time, considering Xigbar’s earlier unconsciousness. Xigbar couldn’t help tensing from how uncomfortable he was with someone touching his freshly injured eye.

Thankfully, the torture of cleaning didn’t last long. Even bandaged his face back up again and gave him a warning to change the bandages at least daily, if not two or three times a day, and that his check-ups would determine when they could safely be removed. Even also propped a cane against the table-bed. “Until you get used to it, you can use this to navigate without walking into everything.”

“It’s not that bad.” Leave it to Even to over-prepare medical supplies. Xigbar couldn’t help but notice how worrisome he’d gotten about the castle’s lack of doctors since Ienzo arrived.

“Well, it’s there if you need it. At least keep it nearby.”

Xigbar rolled his remaining eye, but didn’t disagree. He didn’t have much care about arguing lectures over how much of his sight remained.

After a few more instructions, most of which Xigbar tuned out, Even finally gave him permission to leave. Xigbar hopped off the table and grabbed the medications - and, begrudgingly, the cane - and quickly threw a goodbye before heading out to navigate his way back home.


	4. Chapter 4

To Xigbar’s dismay, traveling home proved a more awkward task than it should have been.

Navigating around was alright, he could basically still see where he was going. It was his peripheral vision that was causing issues.

Xigbar walked into what felt like everything that got too close to the blind side of his face. He debated using the cane Even had given him, but spite caused him to simply keep trying, no matter how much more useful the cane would probably be.

Of course, his attempts made it almost certain he’d eventually walk right into a person, should they walk in his blind spot. Namely, Dilan, who Xigbar cursed himself for not being able to see.

Unfortunately a full collision with the man was enough for Xigbar to lose his balance. Dilan grabbed him before he could properly fall and gently helped him right himself. “Easy, slow down. Where are you off in a rush to?”

Xigbar was getting a bit bothered by how much people were telling him to be more patient since he woke up. “I just want to get home.” Dilan was hovering in his blind spot, probably unaware Xigbar couldn’t see him on that side. Xigbar’s usual defensive instincts felt like they were screaming in panic at how easily someone could hide over there and grab him.

“Let me escort you, then. Better to walk into me than into anyone else, right?” The firm grip he held on Xigbar’s arm told him Dilan wasn’t in the mood to take no for an answer.

“Don’t you have a job to do? Guarding duty?”

“Until you’re back on duty you’re just as much my charge as the rest of the castle.”

Xigbar rolled his good eye, but decided the argument wasn’t worth making a scene. He let Dilan guide him slowly home, noticing that the taller guard refused to let go of his arm the whole way. It felt more like he was worried Xigbar would run away than just gently holding him steady to help with the lack of sight on that side.

Finally, once Xigbar caught sight of the door of his home, he was able to worm out of Dilan’s grasp. He turned so he could finally see the other and backed up toward the door. “Well, thank you, but I can handle it from here. I just want peace and quiet to sleep.”

Dilan nodded, but lingered. “Don’t do anything else reckless, Braig. If you need any help, Aeleus and I are here for you. Drop in anytime.”

Xigbar frowned. That was an… uncomfortably heartfelt message. Did everyone in the castle know about the rumor Ansem was spreading around, or did Dilan and Aeleus just get special privileges for finding the body? “Uh… Thanks. I’ll keep it in mind.”

An uncomfortable silence followed, until Xigbar finally got into his home and shut the door behind himself.

Finally alone in familiar territory, Xigbar relaxed, and slid down to sit on the floor. 

Maybe summoning a demon was a bad idea after all. He was in over his head before it had even begun. He didn’t even know where the demon was anymore. Probably out causing chaos destroying the city under the cover of darkness.

He turned to look at the summoning circle, and gawked.

The circle was gone.

Xigbar scrambled back up and rushed to where he was certain he’d drawn the symbol. At the far end of the room, just at the edge of where it should have been, his blood sat in a dried puddle on the carpet. The only sign anything had even happened.

No, there was another sign. Xigbar touched his face carefully, trailing his fingers over the bandages. He was absolutely certain a demon had torn it out.

Unless… Did he make it all up? Hit his head too hard? He stared at the blood that would likely permanently stain the carpet. Just like Ansem said, it was the only thing out of place in the entire house.

Xigbar walked to his bed, confused and distressed. Did he really try killing himself? He couldn’t say he was sure anymore. He was about to flop into bed to think on it when years of guardsman training struck his paranoid senses.

There was something alive hidden in his bedsheets, big enough to be a human. He could see the sheets gently rise and fall with their breathing. 

He summoned an arrowgun as quietly as he could. Neither Aeleus nor Dilan would pull a stunt like that on him, and it was too big to be Ienzo. He pointed his weapon at the bed just as the sheets started to move.

Rolling out of the sheets was none other than the demon from before, pale silver hair and clawed hands especially giving away its identity. Xigbar kept his weapon trained on it, not trusting it after already losing one eye. He wasn’t going to lose the rest of his vision without a fight.

The demon yawned and rubbed its eyes. “You’ve returned.”

“Yeah, no thanks to you.”

“You were unconscious, and bleeding. The man who stormed in seemed to only have your best intentions at heart, so it seemed wiser to let him take you without a fight.”

Xigbar glared at the demon. “Who’s fault was it, exactly, that I even lost my eye in the first place?”

“Yours.”

The lack of hesitation in the response was enough to startle him. “Mine? You’re the one who tore it out!”

“You requested a deal, between you and I. Demons do not work for free. It is part of the contract to take something valuable.” The demon sat up and stretched, causing Xigbar to notice a set of horns protruding from its neck that he didn’t think were there before.

No, upon closer inspection, they weren’t horns. It was a necklace, surprisingly ornate. What seemed like a goat’s head sat against the demon’s chest, with its several horns spreading out as the spikes Xigbar mistook as part of the demon’s body, and one pair wrapping all the way around its neck to form the chain, holding the jewelry tight against the demon. Sitting in the goat’s head, just above its actual face, was what had to be Xigbar’s missing eye, the only part of the whole piece that wasn’t pure black. It was far too lifelike, and looked freshly cleaned.

Xigbar put a hand to his mouth, feeling sick.

The demon caught notice and looked down at the necklace. “This is the physical proof of our contract. As long as I am here I am bound to this collar, until our deal ends and I return to whence I came.”

Xigbar nodded, still grossed out. Did demons just not like working with normal paper contracts? He was starting to wonder if he should have taken a few days to study what he was summoning before jumping right in. The warnings did technically tell him to.

Noticing Xigbar’s hesitation, the demon stood up and flexed its wings out. It held out a clawed hand. “For simplicity’s sake you may call me Xehanort. Humans cannot speak my true name, and it is dangerous to allow a being with any magical ability access to a true name regardless.”

Not wanting to anger Xehanort, Xigbar shook his hand. “I’m... Xigbar.” He frowned. That wasn’t the name Even or Dilan had called him earlier. What did they call him? Why couldn’t he remember?

Xehanort grew a sly smile. “As I said, it is dangerous to allow a being with magical prowess access to your true name. Since you were kind enough to give me yours, I will be keeping that as per our contract as well.”

“How do you just… take someone’s name?” Everyone but Xigbar himself seemed to remember it. That seemed more like stealing a memory than a name.

“The same way I took yours. By now, I’d imagine no one even notices it’s gone.”

Xigbar had absolutely no idea what that meant, but it sounded like far more than what he’d planned for.

Xehanort wandered over to the desk nearby and sat on top of that instead, giving Xigbar the chance to flop into his bed like he’d wanted to do earlier. “Now that we can discuss this properly, you clearly summoned me for a reason. What exactly would that entail?”

Xigbar rolled over in bed so that he was laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. “I just want to get back at my boss, Ansem the Wise. He just takes everyone’s stuff and calls it his own.”

“So you summoned an entire demon for the job?”

“As opposed to half a demon? Yeah. Why not. I was pissed at the time and wanted him to get what was coming to him.”

“Are you still upset with him?”

“If anything I hate him even more right now.” The scolding was still fresh in Xigbar’s mind.

“I see. Those are the only parameters to your goal?”

“Well, I’d like to be recognized for what’s mine, too, but yeah. That’s pretty much it.”

Xehanort nodded, and grinned hungrily again, swishing his tail. “An easy problem, not to worry.”

Xigbar looked up at him. “You already have a plan?”

“I do.”


	5. Chapter 5

It was several days before Xigbar was finally permitted to remove his bandages. In their place sat a new eyepatch, nothing fancy, just enough to cover the empty hole hidden underneath. A couple days later, with some time to adjust, he was finally allowed back to work as well.

During Xigbar’s entire resting period, Xehanort had wandered in and out of the house essentially as he pleased. He said it was for the plan, so Xigbar didn’t push too much of a question, but it was unsettling nonetheless. Xehanort had well proven he’s dangerous alone, but there wasn’t really a way to leash him either. The most Xigbar could do was hope Xehanort’s private matters didn’t cross paths with the other guards.

On Xigbar’s first day back to work, it was requested he meet with Ansem the Wise first. Probably for another scolding before any debriefing on anything he missed.

He wandered down to Ansem’s office, as slow as he could in a weak attempt to put it off. It didn’t really help much, but it allowed him a bit of smugness at a slight visible disappointment in Ansem’s eyes at being left to wait.

Ansem’s eyes narrowed as Xigbar closed the door behind himself. “Did you forget your hours, Xigbar?”

Xigbar flinched, just a bit. Where had Ansem learned that name? He’d been hoping to catch a hint of his true name during the meeting, but apparently not. Even had pretty much avoided Xigbar’s name altogether during the medical visits.

Xigbar took a moment to recompose himself before responding. “Nah. Just making sure I had the right day.”

“I’m sure the schedule will come back to you once you’ve gotten used to it again.” Right to business, as always. “We’ve hired someone new since you’ve last been working. I wanted to introduce him to you, but he doesn’t move from the labs much.”

A new scientist? That was rare. Ansem kept his team reserved to only the best of the best. Xigbar wondered if Ienzo was still going to be the favorite, or if being a kid just guaranteed that for him.

Ansem stood up, and started walking toward the door. “It’s important for a guardsman to know the staff he’s working with, so that there’s no confusion. So we’re going to go visit him ourselves, and then you can carry on to your duties.”

Xigbar nodded, and followed Ansem down the hall, toward the labs. At least he just had to meet the scientists, and not put too much effort into knowing a lot about them. Of course, that didn’t stop him from knowing Even and Ienzo pretty well, but those two liked being thorns in Xigbar’s side.

Ansem opened a door to one of the lab rooms and gestured Xigbar inside. As soon as Xigbar walked in, he gasped. “You!”

Standing there with Even was Xehanort, dressed up in a lab coat as if he just belonged among Ansem’s group. He wasn’t even hiding his horns.

Xehanort perked up at the sound of Xigbar’s tone and turned to him. “Ah, you’re back.”

Xigbar glared at Xehanort, hoping he’d get the silent message. Why was he here? What was he doing?

Even looked between them and spoke next. “You two know each other?”

Xehanort answered before Xigbar could. “We live together.”

Xigbar slapped a hand over his face, thoroughly frustrated. What a way to start rumors. As if he wasn’t already dealing with enough of them.

Even smiled, blissfully unaware. “Oh, I see.”

Xigbar grumbled under his breath.

Ansem finally spoke over the awkward semi-conversation. “Well, this was an interesting surprise. I suppose the introductions were moot, then.”

Ansem the Wise turned to walk out the door, but Xigbar stayed behind. “Can I get a minute to talk to Xehanort? I’ll start my shift as soon as I’m done.”

“I’m holding you to that.” With that, Ansem left. Even seemed to catch the tone and gave the two space as well, hiding near the back of the lab.

Just in case Even was listening in, Xigbar dragged Xehanort out to the hall, a bit of a ways away from the door. Once they were comfortably far enough from prying ears Xigbar whirled around. “What are you doing here?”

“Working.”

“Why here? Couldn’t you pick any other job? What part of ‘Ansem the Wise is an asshole’ didn’t you get?”

Xehanort frowned, probably offended by Xigbar’s tone. “I needed a way in to gauge the situation. Working here seemed the simplest method.”

Admittedly, that was a fair point. “Well what about these?” Xigbar pointed at the horns still threading through Xehanort’s hair. “Surely someone is going to ask about them.”

“Unless I use my magic, you’re the only one who can see them. Technically speaking, I could brandish my wings in the middle of the room and no one but you would notice a thing, but I figured you would complain.”

Somehow, it stung that Xehanort was able to guess and react in advance to Xigbar’s responses.

Xehanort continued before Xigbar could say anything. “Though, the child seems to possess some form of sight I don’t think he’s aware of yet. I have at least been laying low due to him.”

“Who, Ienzo?” He was pretty smart, for a kid. Creepily so, considering he was allowed to transfer from middle school to working in a lab. “You’re saying he can see your horns, even though no one else can?”

“Yes.” Xehanort raised a hand, guiding Xigbar’s eye to notice it had been gloved, likely to hide the claws underneath. “I’m likely too tall for him to notice those, and grey horns in silver hair are a helpful advantage, but sooner or later I theorize he’s going to notice.”

“So we just tell everyone he’s being a weird little kid. He has before.” The poor kid would probably be ashamed later in life if he ever found out how much information Even overshared about basically raising him.

“Perhaps. I have a backup plan of my own as well.”

“Great. Problem solved, then.” Xigbar caught sight of a nearby clock and winced. “Dilan and Aeleus will probably go breaking my door down again if I don’t get going soon. Just… behave yourself, alright?”

Xehanort nodded, thus ending the conversation. Xigbar rushed down the hall, through the castle out to where the Royal Guard usually met up, just in time to catch Aeleus and get dragged to a formal welcome back among the guardsmen.

The party was short, of course, due to the work they’d have to get back to, but Dilan slipped Xigbar a bottle of wine as a gift to finish celebrating with later. The friendly gesture was at least enough to lift Xigbar’s spirits for the day and get him home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for this chapter: i wouldn't say there's an alcoholism issue but there's some wine involved in the conversation

Xigbar was home and already a couple glasses into the wine Dilan had given him by the time Xehanort got back. The demon noticed the bottle and poured a glass for himself as well, sitting nearby to drink it.

Xigbar watched all of the demon’s movements. Xehanort was dressed back in his usual attire already, Xigbar’s eye proudly on display in the ornate collar. He couldn’t help wondering when Xehanort had changed, how Xehanort even got back home without raising questions about his outfit.

The two sat in silence before Xigbar decided to speak. “So… the plan?”

“Going well, not to worry.”

Xigbar rested his chin in a hand and frowned. “Do I ever get to hear what it is? It’s my revenge story.”

“In time. It’s far easier to work out kinks in the fine details without another party breathing over my shoulder.” Xehanort poured himself another glass of wine. “Rest assured, I know what I’m doing.”

Xigbar slammed his hands down on the table and stood up, shattering his glass in the process. With how much wine he’d already gone through, he was probably beyond tipsy. “We’re supposed to be partners! What’s the point of summoning you to deal with someone overshadowing me if you’re just going to overshadow me too? Huh?”

Xehanort’s calm demeanor quickly turned into a cold glare. “You gave me access to your true name only moments after meeting me. What makes you so sure you can even keep up with the pieces I am gathering into place?”

“The fact that they were my pieces first!” Overshadowed and insulted, Xigbar’s two most hated things.

“I assure you, they still are.” Xehanort set his glass down far more gently than Xigbar’s as he carefully stepped around the furious man. The demon wandered over to the book of magic Xigbar still hadn’t returned, and set it on the table next to the broken remains of Xigbar’s glass. “If you want a magical solution, you should take care to understand the magical terms of service.”

Xigbar glared down at the book, feeling almost offended by its presence. The only magic he truly knew related to hearts and soulmates, with whatever little information about gravity and dimensions he bothered researching before returning to his main subject. 

Xehanort smiled as he watched the reactions dance through Xigbar’s face. “We are still partners, I promise you that. So long as your eye is connected to my chest, you do have some semblance of control over me. However, you are also purposefully avoiding that which you do control, thus believing I am acting rogue.”

“You haven’t exactly proven yourself a very trustworthy partner.”

“Again, fine print you fail to accept.” Xehanort flicked his tail and pushed the book a bit closer. “I have been working based on the orders and information you have given me. My only reasoning for keeping quiet about such is to make sure our plan works. Until you know the details yourself, I cannot give them to you. It is solely to make sure you do not knock over a piece I’ve put in place for you. When the time comes, you’ll know you already knew all along.”

Xigbar pouted. He couldn’t tell if Xehanort was being cryptic on purpose or if he was just too drunk to understand what the demon had just said. Whatever argumentative fight was in him drained as he tried puzzling out Xehanort’s riddle of a sentence, and he finally gave up and flopped back down into his chair. Finally noticing his wine glass was broken as well, Xigbar decided it was probably time to call it quits on the wine for the night.

Xehanort seemed to notice the situation calm down as well, and moved to put the wine away, not saying another word.

Xigbar’s eye focused again on the book. “So, everything you aren’t telling me is in here?”

“More or less, I would hope so, since it’s gotten you this far.” Xehanort smiled at him. Xigbar was starting to get used to the predatory hunger hidden in the expression. “At the very least it should give you somewhere to start.”

Xigbar nodded. It was worth a try. Things certainly seemed like he couldn’t back out now. He glared at Xehanort one final time. “You’re sure this isn’t some trick? That you’re not biding my time to go behind my back?”

Xehanort tapped his collar, pointing at Xigbar’s eye embedded inside. “There is nothing I can say that you will not question. At the very least, biding your time with research will allow you to make your own conclusions about my intentions.”

Unfortunately, the demon had a point. Xigbar refused to trust Xehanort without further information, and only the demon or his distraction could give him what he needed. “If I change my mind and decide I don’t want you around anymore?”

Again, Xehanort tapped his collar. “All you’d have to do is remove your eye.” His eyes narrowed. “Be warned, though. Rescinding a contract comes with a higher price than making one.”

Xigbar nodded. Hopefully there were more details in the book. He picked it up and made his way toward bed. He waved goodnight to Xehanort and flopped down, bundling relatively safely into the covers. As much as he needed information fast, he was far too drunk and tired to bother with reading at the moment.

Just before falling asleep, Xigbar caught sight of Xehanort standing up and wandering closer. His hazy, sleepy mind hard a hard time trying to figure out if it was his last conscious view or the start of a dream.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 8 is almost done, but not quite there yet, so this is the last of the mass update!  
> enjoy
> 
> WARNING for this chapter: references back to some of the eye trauma and suicide mention kind of stuff, though nothing new in those regards really specifically happens

By the time Xigbar woke the next morning, Xehanort was gone again. It was comforting, yet slightly unsettling, to at least know where he was going now. Xigbar couldn’t help but wonder what sort of research Xehanort was interested in, to blend in. Each of Ansem’s major apprentices usually enjoyed leaning their studies toward a specific topic.

Ansem himself had turned out to be the only other member of the castle to really delve into hearts and soulmate marks, with the occasional bit of help from Even and Ienzo more from duty than fellow interest. Ienzo turned out to enjoy tinkering with technology, another pursuit with plenty available places to start in Ansem’s labs. The kid had managed to put his own smartphone together only a few months after joining, followed by making improvements as he went along making more for the whole castle. Even never really said much about his projects, just that they leaned closer to studies of the heart rather than studies of soulmate marks. He always got fidgety and cranky if people messed with his stuff too much, so Xigbar usually stayed clear.

Dilan and Aeleus were allowed in the labs just like Xigbar was, but they didn’t really take as well to the major three topics available. If Xigbar had to guess, the books in the library that seemed to have more wildly varied topics compared to hearts and soulmates were probably added for those two.

Xigbar’s eye trailed to the book he’d fallen asleep with. Was it one of them who brought in a book of dark magic as well? Neither really seemed like the type for demon summoning.

Xigbar moved to sit up, but groaned as a pounding ache slammed into his skull. Usually he could hold his alcohol fairly well. He must have gone far more overboard with it than he thought.

He curled back into bed and covered his head. There was absolutely no way he was going to be able to work with how awful he felt. Or keep an eye on Xehanort, for that matter. He wasn’t quite sure which had higher priority.

Xigbar blindly pawed for the phone he usually kept next to his bed, and slid it into the blanket with him. He winced as he turned it on. The guards all still had older models of Ienzo’s phones, having gotten some of theirs first for faster communication on the job. The kid hadn’t quite perfected the brightness adjustments on Xigbar’s.

Wanting to get conversation over with, Xigbar called Dilan before his headache took control of his train of thought again. He turned the volume of his phone down as low as he could get it, just in case the world’s worst hangover decided to make hearing painful too.

Dilan answered quickly. “Xigbar? You’re late for your shift.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I can make it today.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Fine. My head is just killing me.”

“Ah, I see.” There was a slight hint of amusement in Dilan’s voice. Right, it was his wine. “Take it easy with yourself. We miss you around here.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you later.”

“Xigbar?”

Xigbar had been getting ready to hang up, only just barely catching Dilan trying to grab his attention. “What?”

“How long have you and Xehanort been living together?”

Xigbar groaned. “You know about that?”

“Everyone does. Even thought it seemed like important information to share should anyone need to contact either of you.”

Of course it was Even. “Great. It’s only been a few days, maybe weeks. Nothing major.” The pounding in Xigbar’s head was making it hard to think of an exact day, even if he wanted to say anything.

Dilan’s end of the line was silent, for a bit. Xigbar was about to wonder if he just hung up, until he finally spoke again. “Was Xehanort there, when-”

Xigbar groaned louder, cutting Dilan off. “Don’t you people know it’s rude to keep bringing that up? Why does it matter so much?”

“I only… wanted to make sure Xehanort wasn’t doing anything to cause you harm. I can have him thrown off the premises at once if he is.”

“He’s fine. Everything’s fine.” It wasn’t fine, but Xigbar needed Xehanort to stick around if the plan was going to work. Also to make sure Xehanort didn’t start running around and killing civilians, for that matter. He wasn’t even quite sure if Dilan could survive a fight with a demon. Xigbar was the one who bound himself to a demon and given it his name anyway. Throwing Xehanort out probably wouldn’t do anything. “I’ll be back tomorrow, I just need another night to sleep off the party.”

“Fair enough. Rest well, Xigbar.”

“Thanks.”

With that, they finally hung up. Xigbar slowly worked his phone back out onto the table.

He curled up under the blanket for a while, letting the darkness ease his head. If it was as easy as throwing Xehanort out should he change his mind, would he want to? Xigbar still knew nearly nothing about his demonic partner. For all he knew, Xehanort was just being nice, by demon’s standards, and Xigbar was being the asshole for not bothering with reading the fine print. He did drag Xehanort away from whatever he was doing before the summoning to help out with matters that didn’t even previously involve him.

Xigbar quietly wriggled out of his blanket again to find the book. He flipped it back open to Xehanort’s chapter, on the page with the summoning instructions. Trying to read burned at Xigbar’s headache a bit, but he pressed on.

“When the demon is summoned, he will wish to settle an agreement quickly. Until you offer payment, he is bound inside the circle. Wise summoners should stand out of arm’s reach, plus extra space, should he try anything else. Another room altogether, with a window to talk through, has yielded best results.”

Well, failed step one. It wasn’t like Xigbar had much space to work with, though.

“To begin negotiations, you must state a name to the demon, and repeat the following phrase: ‘I require your services, and thus I summon you as an equal servant.’ Failure to do so may offend the demon, and end your life.”

That was simple, Xigbar had followed that set of instructions pretty well. He now noticed a warning underneath the paragraph, though.

“Warning, do not give the demon your actual name, when you introduce yourself. True names are his favorite form of payment, regardless of whether he gives you anything in return. See: True Names, in The Tome of Handling Magical Creatures.”

Wonderful, there was another entire book Xigbar was missing. There was a very strong chance the library would have it, at least. There was more after, yet attached to the warning, so for now he kept reading.

“Should you offer a name to him, he will mark it with a χ. To normal eyes, it will simply appear as a letter X scrambled into the name.”

That seemed like it explained ‘Xigbar.’

“The demon has so far refused to divulge what the χ marking means. Given its importance to him, it’s likely dangerous and should be avoided.”

Xigbar frowned. A bit late for that.

“The demon’s own true name is unknown, he has been very capable of hiding it thus far.”

That seemed the last bit of information about names the book was willing to give him. Really it didn’t feel like more information, just warnings he probably should have read first after all. Xigbar decided to try a different page.

The next page that was more information than warnings was surprisingly about the collar. The drawing looked different than what Xigbar saw him wearing, but he recognized the goat’s head hidden among the horns.

“The demon seems protective, yet hateful, of the item that binds him to our world. He calls it a collar, and the payment is his leash, usually attached to the collar in some fashion until the contract is complete.”

Xigbar’s eye. He brushed a hand against the wound left behind.

“He prefers items of flesh or blood as payment, even bone, but a summoner with proper protection set up can barter their way into making him take a less dangerous item. No matter what, it seems the item must always be of high value to the summoner for the trade to be deemed equal.”

Xigbar had allowed Xehanort to name his price. It really was just among the terms after all. Not like he had protection to barter anything less, anyway. By the sound of it, an eye seemed like it was probably a better payment than some of the others Xehanort had taken.

“The only other object of importance seems to be the bright blue eye embedded into the goat’s head. This seems more what the demon is interested in guarding rather than the collar itself.”

Blue eye? Xigbar thought hard, trying to recall if there was such a thing on the collar. He was probably too horrified by his own eye to notice.

“After many failed attempts, I and my colleagues have successfully managed to steal the eye. For simplicity’s sake, and due to what I believe this eye does, it shall be referred to in this report as the demon’s third eye.”

Oh.

“The demon’s third eye has been hidden in an undisclosed location, where it currently resides. It is periodically moved, and all witnesses have been detained, to keep the demon from finding it again.”

Oh no.

“The demon no doubt personally hates me, but I will likely be long dead by the time he returns. Please view Dark Magic, vol.II for more information about studies on the eye.  
-DiZ.”

DiZ. That was the pen name Ansem always told everyone to use should they want their research anonymous.

Xigbar’s eye wasn’t the only one stolen.

If anything, it was the replacement, and he’d brought Xehanort to likely the last place the demon’s true target was seen.


	8. Chapter 8

Xigbar had absolutely no idea how to bring up the missing eye with Xehanort.

He wanted to. It really seemed like the kind of thing he should bring up. The terms of the deal were to work on Xigbar’s problem, and Xehanort’s problem seemed very clearly involved. Xigbar really needed to make sure the demon’s own personal goals weren’t taking over the super secret plan that not even Xigbar knew.

At the same time, though, Xehanort was a very dangerous, very cunning demon. Even if Xigbar knew why he lost his eye now, it didn’t make the surprise of it sting any less. Xehanort could easily injure something else should Xigbar anger him enough, and it sounded like the eye was a touchy subject.

Considering what happened last time Xigbar jumped in with minimum information, he figured studying before telling Xehanort would help him out. At the moment, Xehanort seemed pretty calm working among the other scientists, setting up whatever pieces he was putting into place. Hopefully that meant he wouldn’t do anything drastic before Xigbar intervened.

On his way home from his shift, Xigbar picked up the other two books from the castle’s library. Dark Magic, vol.II was relatively the same as the first volume in terms of its content, while The Tome of Handling Magical Creatures seemed more like a generic gift shop book for getting started with.

Well aware he was starting from the absolute bottom when it came to knowledge about demons, Xigbar started with The Tome of Handling Magical Creatures. He only really needed to know about true names, then he could get to work figuring out what was going on with Xehanort’s third eye.

The passage about true names was fairly close to the beginning of the tome. Apparently, it was a very important subject for several species of magical beings.

Most of the passage was the same information. 

“Do not, under any circumstances, give a being any true name. If prompted to, use a fake name, to guarantee safety. Make sure to remember and keep use of the fake name decided on.” 

Code names and false names were a requirement when even near a magical being, it seemed. Yet again, it felt like fate was mocking Xigbar for not bothering whatsoever with learning that before introducing himself.

As if pitying him, though, the next section of the passage caught Xigbar’s eye.

“Should a magical creature take your true name, it is possible to steal it back. All one has to do is get the being to state the stolen true name in front of the victim, so that they may remember it. From there, declare possession of your true name once more, and using it, will return it to you. Unfortunately, only the person whose name was stolen can accomplish the task. One cannot take a name back for another person.”

That was certainly better news than what Xigbar was expecting to get. He had no idea at the moment how to get Xehanort to remind him of his true name, but the knowledge that it was possible was enough to help him plan an upper hand.

Xehanort returned while Xigbar was thinking it over, and he quickly shut and hid the books to feel safe from the demon’s prying eyes.

Xehanort lazily flicked his tail in greeting and wandered to where he’d previously hidden what remained of the wine. Xigbar couldn’t help but wonder if a demon getting drunk worked the same way as a human. Xehanort hardly seemed tipsy during their exchange the other night, but he’d also had less to drink.

Xigbar turned to the demon and smiled, as if he hadn’t just completely stumbled upon what was probably the closest thing he’d find to Xehanort’s weaknesses. “So, how’s the lab treating you?”

By the expression on Xehanort’s face, it was easy to tell he was just humoring Xigbar’s conversation topic. “Well. Even seems especially friendly.”

“Really?” That was mildly surprising, considering how much Even usually shooed everyone away during work hours if he was busy with his super secret project. “What’s that like?”

“Did you know he’s working on the art of artificially creating a human heart?”

“He… what?” Like the heart linked closer to the soul than the physical body? Was Even trying to artificially create life behind closed doors? “That’s a sick joke Xehanort.”

“It’s no joke.” Xehanort took a sip of his wine. “The first he already has called Riku. The second we’ve given the name of Xion.”

Xion. Xigbar wondered if that was its true name, or if Xehanort stole that behind its creator’s back. Was there morality in stealing from something created, rather than born? “So, wait… He’s already made two of them?”

“Barely. They’re hardly anything noteworthy. Humans barely even seem to understand the basic components of a soul.”

“So you’ve been filling in the blanks for him?”

“Just enough for a start. It’s amusing watching him try to make sense of what he can’t comprehend.”

Of course it would be, to a demon.

“Uh… he doesn’t know about…”

“My identity? Not at all. It’s rather remarkable how close he is to my species’ level of dark magic and yet remains blissfully unaware of it.”

“I was talking more about the plan.”

Xehanort calmly flicked his tail. “By not knowing about me, he hardly knows about the plan, either. You are perfectly safe from your coworkers’ scrutiny.”

Xigbar was pretty sure that counted as both comfort and sass. The important part, at least, was that Even didn’t know anything. “Just… be careful. He’s more nosy than he lets on.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

The tone of Xehanort’s voice seemed to hint a slight irritation with Xigbar’s lack of trust in his methods. Xigbar decided it was probably best not to prod him any further for the day. He let Xehanort help himself to the remaining wine in peace, and opted to settle into bed for the night.

“Fine, fair enough. I guess you haven’t caused too much trouble at the workplace so far, I’m sure you can keep it that way. Night, Xehanort.” It felt odd, saying goodnight to him, but it felt even more weird to just pass out while there was a demon standing in the room. To Xigbar, he was just reminding himself that Xehanort was supposed to be there, and hopefully wouldn’t just slaughter him in the middle of the night. It was a worry that mildly haunted Xigbar on occasion when he had the time to think on it.

Xehanort’s attention already seemed to be moving elsewhere. He hardly even looked up from the second glass of wine he was pouring. “Goodnight, Xigbar.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for this chapter: more eye trauma and some other more magical physical harm
> 
> I feel like this is slowly becoming more general Xehanort/Xigbar so fixing up the tags but let it be known I was thinking YX when I was designing demon!Xehanort and it'd show a lot more if I made any sort of continuation beyond this fic bc tbh it's part of a whole keybladers-are-demons AU.  
> Also as much as we haven't heard anything on the soulmate side of things I promise that's still a thing. It's gonna happen just you wait

Routine continued about as normal as living and working with a demon could be. Xehanort always went to work first, Xigbar continued his secret research on Xehanort while keeping up with his own job, and the two would return to Xigbar’s place for the night and hardly discuss the plan Xehanort was hired for, save for the occasional reminder that it still existed.

Xigbar was honestly getting used to the lifestyle. He was definitely still bitter toward Ansem the Wise, and still wanted the old man to get what was coming to him, but he had to admit, he was also overall in a better mood since meeting Xehanort and starting his secret research project. 

It was no wonder Even was drawn to secretly researching dark magic, the inhuman knowledge and power was intoxicating. Xigbar could probably make a habit of it himself if Xehanort stuck around long enough.

Though at the moment, first and foremost, Xigbar was a guard. Access to science was a perk, but his other job had priority.

Xigbar couldn’t help but notice how eerily quiet it was when he checked in one morning. No sign of Dilan, or Aeleus, or any of the lower ranking hirees. There was usually at least someone lurking around hiding from their post.

Instinct told Xigbar something was wrong. Even if there wasn’t, it didn’t hurt to be cautious. He entered the labs to see if he could find Ansem to report to, and was greeted by equally empty halls.

Xigbar decided that rather than search specifically for Ansem, he’d start looking for anyone in general. There was no way everyone, collectively, was hiding away somewhere to make the whole place seem like a ghost town. He rounded a corner and finally found Ienzo walking down a hall.

No… stumbling. Ienzo was stumbling down the hall. His head was down and most of his weight was slumped against the wall as he dragged himself forward. He didn’t seem to be leaving any blood.

Xigbar rushed up to Ienzo and put a hand on the child’s shoulder. “Hey. You alright?”

Ienzo’s head lolled unsteadily to the side a bit as he looked up. His eyes looked almost dead. Xigbar had never seen anything like it, at least not on anyone standing. They looked completely glazed over and lifeless. There was no way the kid should have been conscious with how painfully exhausted he looked. “...Xigbar?”

As if the laws of reality realized they were being defied, Ienzo passed out before Xigbar could respond. Xigbar grabbed the boy before he could fall to the floor. “So much for asking what you got yourself into, kiddo…”

A scream sounded from a nearby lab room. Xigbar was immediately on alert again, it was his job to investigate. There wasn’t time to ponder about Zexion’s… Zexion? 

Xigbar frowned. He was fairly certain that wasn’t the kid’s name, but nothing else seemed to be coming to him. Maybe there was time to ponder Zexion. Why was Xigbar suddenly convinced the kid’s name had changed to something like Zexion?

Wait. Oh.

Oh no.

Xigbar carefully placed Zexion on the ground and rushed toward where he’d heard the scream come from. He threw open the door, just in time to watch Xehanort plunge his claws into Even’s chest.

Vexen’s eyes - and name, apparently - drained of life in likely the same way Zexion’s had before him. Xehanort pulled a strange glowing orb out of Vexen’s body, and held it up to admire it.

Xigbar’s mouth reacted before the rest of his body. “What the fuck?”

Xehanort shoved the orb into his mouth as his head snapped around to look at Xigbar. Before anyone could move, the demon sank to the floor, disappearing from sight.

Vexen began toppling forward, and Xigbar quickly recollected himself. He rushed into the room to grab the scientist, easing Vexen more gently down to the floor once confirming he was unconscious.

Xehanort had apparently completely left the room. Where he’d been standing, there was now just a puddle of black goo that Xigbar wasn’t sure he wanted to chance investigating.

There wasn’t much Xigbar could do to help Vexen, either. He didn’t even know what that orb Xehanort had ripped out was, and as far as Xigbar could tell it seemed to be the only injury Vexen had.

Priority at the moment was going to have to be finding Xehanort. If not to figure out what he’d even done, then to at least stop him from rampaging around Radiant Garden any further.

Before starting his search, Xigbar retrieved Zexion and placed him next to Vexen. If they didn’t wake up and help each other out by the time Xigbar was back, they’d at least be easier to find again together.

There was only one place Xigbar could really think of where he’d be able to corner Xehanort. Of course, cornering a demon was a difficult task all its own, but someone had to try, and Xigbar was probably the only conscious person around who knew what was going on and had a fighting chance.

Xigbar threw open the door of his own home with as much speed and power as he’d done when he had rushed to Vexen’s aid.

Xehanort sat comfortably in the same place he usually settled, as if absolutely nothing was wrong. The dangerous glint in his eyes when Xigbar entered was the only sign something was amiss.

Xehanort simply relaxed as Xigbar slammed the door behind himself. The absolute fury of failing to protect his charges leached into Xigbar’s voice as he instantly began scolding the demon. “What the fuck was all that about? What did you do?”

“I did what you asked me to, as per our contract.”

“I asked you to get back at Ansem the Wise for me, not slaughter half my coworkers!”

Xehanort flicked his tail. “They were proving to be in the way. I had no orders to protect them, so I disposed of unnecessary annoyances.”

Xigbar gritted his teeth, absolutely livid. Xehanort had been getting into his head enough to make him question whether to keep being angry at the demon, or to be angry with himself for trusting a demon to have human morals in the first place. Angry at both was an option too, of course.

Xehanort noticed Xigbar’s rage, and continued. “They’ll be perfectly fine in a few hours, just as you were. None of them will even realize anything happened, save for perhaps a few complaints of nightmares.”

“You and I will know something happened, and I know you took their names.” Among other things, like Vexen’s glowing orb.

“I’m sure all of them will continue to live happy, normal lives regardless.”

“That’s not the point! No more attacking people without warning!”

“What makes you think I should stop?”

“Stop, or you’ll never find where your eye is.” Xigbar regretted the words almost as soon as they’d left his mouth. It was the first thing he could think of that would convince Xehanort to not completely massacre everyone.

Xehanort froze, and glared at Xigbar with the most murderous gaze the guard had ever been subjected to. Considering earlier events, it would be an absolute miracle if Xigbar didn’t genuinely die within the hour.

Xehanort hissed, and slowly stood up and arched his back, as if to pounce. “...How do you know about that.”

“I’m not the one who stole it.” Good opening, Xigbar. He could practically feel the minutes he had left draining away. “You told me to do my research, so I did. I’ve worked here long enough, if you ever want to see that thing again, you’re going to need someone who knows their way around.”

“Are you offering your services, then?” Xehanort’s voice was still dangerously cold. If Xigbar wanted to stay alive, it wasn’t really a question.

Xigbar grinned at the face of death. “Something like that. You help me, I help you, we keep some ground rules so this whole thing doesn’t happen again. Sounds fair, right?”

Xehanort chuckled. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to arrange another deal.”

“Maybe I am. You up for it?”

Xehanort stalked closer, still poised to strike. “This has no relation to our previous arrangement, and that plan is basically complete. We’ll have to work on a new contract.”

“No problem. As long as it’s not my other eye or any other organs i might need to survive, take your pick.” That was likely an arrogant choice to make, but considering the circumstances it didn’t hurt to sell himself to Xehanort’s good side.

“This is my prize. You complain about my behavior, how do I know I can trust yours?”

Clever demon. Xigbar thought on it, and his eye trailed down to Xehanort’s collar, his other eye blankly staring back at him. “That thing is the terms and conditions, right? You got a spare one of those lying around?”

Xehanort, surprisingly, laughed. It wasn’t a friendly laugh, it was the laugh of someone who knew something Xigbar didn’t. “I’ve never met a human bold enough to make such a suggestion before.”

“Uh… Is that a yes, then?”

“Something like that.” Xehanort cornered Xigbar against the wall as he spoke. “An eye for an eye, Xigbar. Your deal for mine.”

As Xigbar tried to take a moment to process what Xehanort was talking about, the demon started pulling his other eye out of the collar. The sight was about as gruesome as watching someone pull their own eye out of their actual socket, but Xigbar was too busy starting to panic about the implications. Didn’t Xehanort say removing that eye would rescind Xigbar’s contract? Was there even a contract in the first place, or was the whole collar thing for show?

Just before the eye could completely disconnect, there was a sickening pop sound, and the collar seemed to literally melt into small eyeball. Xehanort grabbed Xigbar by the neck and pinned his head stiffly against the wall. “I’m curious if you’ll truly survive this. It is the first time a contract has been used to bind another contract, after all, and to contain its power through a human vessel, well… This may hurt.”

Xigbar wanted to ask for him to clarify what he was talking about, but before he could get any words out, Xehanort peeled off his eyepatch in one fluid motion and quickly shoved Xigbar’s eye back into the empty socket.

Xigbar screamed. Surely putting an eye in shouldn’t hurt as bad as pulling one out? Except it did. It almost seemed to hurt worse than the original injury.

The pain took over, and Xigbar passed out while Xehanort’s claws were still embedded in his face. He felt himself slump forward, against the demon, still attempting to scream, before everything went dark.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Xem where have you been"  
> my mouse broke and the new one got lost in the mail and i couldnt access my files for this fic like at all lmao but hi hello heres ch10
> 
> WARNING for this chapter: some mild eye talk and just as mild hangover talk, and even more mild but still there for like a paragraph talk of needles and living experiments

The first sense to come back to Xigbar was the sense of touch. He was laying on his back, under a blanket, likely laying in his own bed. His head was pounding, and as the rest of his senses started returning to him, they felt scrambled and confusing.

Xigbar groaned a little, and used a pillow to cover his face as he started processing the light filtering into the room. He couldn’t remember drinking, but he certainly woke up to one hell of a hangover.

The pillow was doing absolutely nothing to tone down the light focusing down on him, and Xigbar grumbled a bit quieter. He moved to roll over and bundle further under the blanket until something sharp jabbed against his neck.

Xigbar recoiled and laid flat on his back again, preferring not to impale himself in his sleep. His eye was wide open now, but the fact that the room wasn’t quite as bright as it had seemed when it was closed was only a passing thought before his mind wandered back to the sharp object near his neck.

For a moment, as he blinked himself more properly awake, he remembered the strange dream he’d had, likely after his drunk blackout. Xigbar’s hand instinctively went up to his face. His eyepatch was gone, but there was still just an empty socket where the Xehanort from his dream had shoved an eye back in.

Still just one eye, just as he thought. Comforting, but somehow also a bit disappointing.

Xigbar carefully tried feeling for the sharp object with his hand. If it was sitting in his blind spot, like he thought it was, that seemed the safest way to look for it.

His fingers grasped around what felt like a sharp horn, snaking just over his shoulder. The tip of it seemed pressed into the mattress, likely having moved when he startled away from it.

Xigbar’s mind, struggling to stay completely focused on the current task under his pounding headache, wandered to visualizing the horns that threaded through Xehanort’s hair. Time to think on it, he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Xehanort sleep. Did demons need sleep? Xigbar had seen Xehanort laying in his bed once before, on a day that seemed like forever ago, but was Xehanort actually sleeping then, or just hiding?

Xigbar started trailing his fingers down toward where he estimated the base of the horn should be, following along its curved length. Part of him expected his fingers to tangle into a soft head of hair, causing him to wonder whether Xehanort would like or disapprove of any sort of petting.

However, his fingers didn’t find Xehanort’s hair. At what he assumed was the base, it felt like the horn just continued in various different directions, splaying itself across Xigbar’s chest.

Xigbar felt along the other protrusions, checking for any other sharp points before carefully sitting up. A few other horns seemed to branch out from the centerpiece near his chest, each either snaking around Xigbar or laying against him. None seemed to have actively been placed with the intent of impaling him.

More importantly, the horns seemed firmly attached to his chest. They didn’t even budge no matter how much he moved. That was likely how he’d nearly stabbed himself - moving his head just right pressed one of the immobile horns too close to his skin.

Concerned, Xigbar made his way to the bathroom, situating himself in front of the mirror, since the horns simply continued to cling to him as he walked. He was starting to guess the issue before he even got to see what it was.

Attached to Xigbar’s bare chest was the collar that was usually fastened to Xehanort. The goat’s head sat just under Xigbar’s throat, and the horns wrapped all around his body to hold it in place. Curiously, the entire collar seemed to snake around his soulmate mark, as if incorporating it into the design.

Xigbar brushed his fingers along the collar again. His soulmate mark… With everything going on, he’d nearly forgotten about the blemish that had started the whole mess. He traced his fingers over the X-shape that made the center of the mark, and his mind wandered back to one of the passages in the books he’d been reading.

“Should you offer a name to him, he will mark it with a χ. To normal eyes, it will simply appear as a letter X scrambled into the name.”

χ… Was there any correlation between that and his mark? Perhaps Xehanort would know… if he bothered answering if Xigbar asked.

He supposed it might not hurt to ask sometime. If anyone had an answer for the mystery, Xehanort seemed the most likely to carry it.

The sound of the front door slamming shut caught Xigbar’s attention, and he quickly threw on whatever shirt he had laying around the bathroom and stepped out.

Xehanort had returned, and greeted Xigbar as soon as he saw him. “Ah, you’re awake.”

“Yeah, finally.” Xigbar stretched, only to wince a little as one of the horns from the collar pinched at his skin from the motion.

Xehanort caught sight of Xigbar’s reaction, and trailed his sight toward the collar’s horns that strained against the confines of the shirt that had been haphazardly thrown over it. “It will likely take you some time to get used to the constriction.”

“No kidding. How do you live with this thing on all the time?”

“I’m far more comfortable without than with.”

Wonderful. Xigbar wasn’t sure if it was relieving or depressing that the frustrations of the collar seemed universal.

Xigbar must have frowned, because Xehanort seemed to take his silence as an answer and continued. “There’s more than just physical discomfort to get used to. Are you dizzy at all?”

The pounding headache Xigbar had when he woke up took that moment to remind him it was there. “...No.”

Regardless of the lie, Xehanort guided Xigbar back to the bed and sat him down, and slipped a glass of water into his hand. “Drink.”

Xigbar frowned at the glass, wondering when Xehanort had even grabbed it. “I said I was fine, no big deal.”

“Even if you are, drink it. You’re only human, your body may have exhausted itself with the sudden introduction of such a large concentration of magic on top of its old eye. There’s a good chance you’re dehydrated.”

Xigbar begrudgingly took a sip of the water, only to nearly choke on it when the full context of what Xehanort said managed to get through his headache. With his free hand, Xigbar carefully felt along his shirt to touch the collar again.

Embedded into about where the goat’s head was, he felt a small, round, squishier piece. Xigbar recoiled, and gulped down the rest of his water in an attempt to act natural. His old eye was right above his soulmate mark, it really said a lot about his priorities that he didn’t even notice it while he was staring at it.

Another glass of water was put into Xigbar’s hand before he realized the first was empty. He instinctively gulped that down as well.

Xehanort stayed close and watched Xigbar’s reactions. “How is your eyesight?”

Xigbar stopped chugging water to ponder the question. His eyesight was the least of his worries at the moment. His eye was still in the collar, not on his face.

Except, now that Xehanort had drawn Xigbar’s attention to it, there was something… off, every time he blinked. It was such a quick flash he’d never notice it unless he was looking for it, and he couldn’t make out any details about why it was off other than trying to focus on it made him notice that it seemed drastically different than what he was looking at while not blinking.

A new glass of water slid into Xigbar’s hand and he started drinking again.

Xehanort spoke again as Xigbar pondered over the definitely too much information to be given all at once. “If this deal is going to work, I’m going to need you in your best condition. I suggest taking time off until you have more understanding and control of your new… features.”

“What about my job?”

“I can easily inform your coworkers you’re unwell.”

“Vexen is basically the doctor here. What are you going to do about him?” Vexen was basically the doctor, Xigbar’s mind corrected. Just how long had he been out? Xehanort had said everyone would be fine, but Xigbar never actually got to go back and check.

“I can convince him that I will be tending to your health instead.” 

Xehanort talking as if Vexen was still around seemed hopeful, Xigbar supposed.

“I also must admit, I’m curious for myself to see how your body will react over time. A human wearing a demon’s collar is very rare, if not a new occurrence altogether.”

“So there is a catch. You’ll be experimenting on me in the meantime.”

“Not experimenting, simply… observing. Experimenting would require far more dissection and needles.”

Xigbar winced a bit at the mental image of Xehanort’s definition of experiment, only to start wondering if the comment was also hinting whatever DiZ had put the demon through. He quietly swore off making any sort of comments about that kind of subject again. “Just try not to make a mess? ...Again? Of whatever is left of my health or the workplace. Seems a little unfair that I’m the one who summoned you, and you leave my life in shambles just to get your own back on track when I offered to help.”

“Then perhaps you should have read the risks of summoning a demon before making a deal.”

Xigbar huffed at the smugness in Xehanort’s voice.

Xehanort took the empty glass from Xigbar, and didn’t supply him with a refill. “Considering the circumstances, I’ll humor your request to behave myself by human standards. At least until my eye is returned to me.”

That was probably the best he’d be getting out of Xehanort, Xigbar supposed. It was better than the demon wandering completely rogue. If he wasn’t lying, of course.

Xigbar started tracing a hand along one of the horns of the collar again. He hadn’t really seen Xehanort without it since the demon was first summoned. Wondering if Xehanort was lying caused him to wonder whether the demon’s newfound lack of collar made any difference to the meaning of his words. “So… You ever do this before? The whole… no collar thing?”

“During a summoning? Not myself, but another has.”

“Oh. How did that go for him?”

“She returned a very different demon than when she was first summoned. I’ve told you before that rescinding a contract comes with a high price. That wasn’t just a warning for your safety.”

“...Oh.” Something told Xigbar that Xehanort wasn’t very keen on telling that whole story.

“I’m certainly thankful for the lack of magical tether, but I’d rather get it back at the soonest possible time. As all-powerful as we may seem, demons were not built to stay rogue in this realm for long.”

Xigbar nodded. In a way, perhaps he began to trust Xehanort a little more, taking a small bit of comfort in believing that the demon was just as uncomfortable with the whole situation as he was.

Maybe he and Xehanort would be able to handle the whole teamwork thing this time around.


	11. Chapter 11

It was days before Xigbar was feeling well enough to go back to work again.

When he first clocked in, he found himself a bit disoriented. Everything seemed absolutely normal, as if the entire incident with Xehanort had never happened. Zexion was up and walking, perfectly fine, but didn’t even acknowledge the fact that he’d passed out right in Xigbar’s arms only days prior.

It was far from the strangest thing Xigbar had ever seen by that point, but it was… slightly unsettling, given the circumstances.

Vexen’s hand fell on Xigbar’s shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Ansem has requested you. I wouldn’t keep him waiting.”

“Right. Got it.” Xigbar had a feeling Ansem was going to interrogate him about why he called in sick for so long. As much as Xigbar wanted to be smug about keeping him waiting, it probably wasn’t a good idea.

He trudged down to Ansem’s office, thinking the entire way on what he was supposed to say. If Xehanort had already told everyone something, and Xigbar’s story didn’t match, their secret was definitely screwed. It wasn’t like Xigbar could just detour to ask Xehanort what the story was, either.

Xigbar was just going to have to take whatever life was ready to throw at him.

He opened the door to Ansem’s office, and found Xehanort sitting comfortably behind Ansem’s desk.

Of all the things Xigbar had prepared himself for in the meeting, it was not that. “What are you doing?”

“Working.”

“No, you’re not. Where is Ansem?”

Xehanort looked up at Xigbar, yellow eyes cold for a fleeting moment. “I am Ansem.”

“...No, you’re not. What is going on?”

“There is a point where our plans correlate. While you were resting, I took it upon myself to cleanse the workplace of an agreed nuisance.”

“So he’s just gone?” Was he dead? Banished? “What happened to not making another mess? What are we supposed to do if someone comes looking for him?”

“I told you. I am Ansem. Now that I know his name, I took it upon myself to borrow it. None but the two of us even remember he existed.”

Something told Xigbar he’d sentenced the real Ansem to a fate far worse than death. “Well, thanks for letting me remember him… I guess.”

“Our tasks will be easier if you aren’t wandering around as clueless as the others.”

“...Right.” That made obvious sense, thinking on it. “So… If you’re Ansem now, I’m guessing you’re the one Vexen said was looking for me?”

“Even.”

“Pardon?”

“Considering you already know about Ansem, I feel we are on well enough terms for you to be aware about the others’ origins as well. His true name is Even.”

The familiarity of the name struck Xigbar before Xehanort had finished explaining. It was like the memory suddenly slammed back into his consciousness, his mind scolding itself for ever having forgotten in the first place.

Dizzy, Xigbar put a hand on Ansem’s desk to steady himself. “Are… true names always that painful to remember?”

“It’s not something I’ve ever particularly worried myself over.”

Of course not. Xigbar huffed and took a deep breath to ease his headache. “Whatever. What did you want me for?”

“You may want to sit down. If Even’s name alone caused that much of a reaction, it would be best if you didn’t make yourself sick from any other information.”

Xigbar pulled a chair closer and sat. “Does this mean you’re finally going to update me with more of this magic stuff?”

“I think we’ll be working close enough that I can at least remind you of what I’ve taken.”

“Like Ansem.” It wasn’t a question. Between Ansem and Even, there was plenty proof Xehanort was finally letting Xigbar in on the plan.

Xehanort smiled. “I trust you won’t take my prized possessions from me should I share them with you?”

“You mean give people back their names?” Xigbar thought on it. “I’m trusting you not to do anything worse, and you’ll trust me with your… collection. Sounds like a truce.”

“Call it what you will, the fact remains that it’s a deal.”

“You demons aren’t big fans of friendly business, are you?”

“Many of us rather enjoy friendly business from time to time. The better question is whether a human who's already willing to summon a demon is one to trust with such a thing, and what your kind consider friendly to be.”

Xigbar opened his mouth to object, but closed it again. Xehanort… had a point. He couldn’t vouch for the demon side of things, but Xigbar knew being human well enough to know that sometimes friendship was subjective. “I’ll settle on calling it a friendly deal then.”

“Its name makes no difference to me.”

“Figured you’d say that. So, these names of yours?”

Xehanort smiled at Xigbar’s interest. “Even by all means is the important one. The smaller one, Zexion, was once Ienzo. Your two colleagues, Aeleus and Dilan, have been renamed Lexaeus and Xaldin respectively.”

Magic and information swirled through Xigbar’s head. It was probably a good thing he let Xehanort convince him to sit.

Despite the fact that it sounded like Xehanort had managed to take every name in the workplace, there was one that Xigbar noticed hadn’t been shared with him. His own. He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised, but a subconscious hopeful part of him felt the blow of the realization.

It took him quite the shameful minute to realize Xehanort had stood up and was facing away from him. When Xehanort returned, he unrolled a large scroll of paper on the table between them. “Furthermore, we need to discuss this.”

Xigbar leaned closer to the desk to look at the scroll. It was a map of the entire workplace, likely with other scrolls underneath of the various larger floors. It didn’t take rocket science for Xigbar to bring himself back up to speed on whatever conversation he missed out on and what Xehanort wanted.

Xigbar looked over all the rooms and labels. The map detailed every secret passage and hidden room Xigbar could think of, including ones even he didn’t know about. It was without a doubt Ansem’s master copy. 

“If your eye is anywhere, it’s in the catacombs, below the building.” Xigbar pointed to one of the hidden exits. “It’s the only place he could hide an entire demon research operation without someone catching word of it.”

Xigbar had only barely been down there, and wasn’t allowed in most of the rooms. Ansem had reserved the location for only key researchers. Since Xigbar was a guard, he ranked just below the requirement. He could walk in, but he wasn’t allowed to look, and he wasn’t allowed past most of the doors.

Xehanort flipped through his papers until he had the map of the catacombs on top of the desk. Xigbar read through the maze of labels and rooms, but none of them revealed the information Xehanort was looking for. The rooms were just identified by letters and numbers, the map written more to remind someone of the territory rather than introduce someone to it.

Xigbar gathered his words before breaking the news to Xehanort. “I know this place walking around it better than mapping it out. You’re the one with access now, I can guide you once we’re down there but this map is doing nothing for me.”

“You’re planning this entirely around a hypothesis that my eye is even there. How will you know which rooms to check?”

“Being there and walking around does better wonders for my intuition than this old thing.” Xigbar chuckled and patted the map.

Xehanort looked down to read the map for himself. “Handle your work as normal for today, you’ve been gone for some time. Tomorrow, we can put your hypothesis to the test.”

“Getting a little gung-ho about your plan compared to mine, don’t you think?”

“Revenge is a wine best served after it’s been properly aged. Returning someone’s belongings only sours the longer it takes.”

Xigbar was sure Xehanort had a good point somewhere in that statement, but he was just stubborn enough to not want to discuss it. “So you’re just taking advantage of Ansem already being gone.”

“That is helpful, yes.”

Xigbar stood and stretched. His dizziness seemed to have waned enough for him to feel comfortable moving around, a sign he should return to work if Xehanort was done updating him. “Tomorrow we go digging around by the sewers, then. Anything else you need?”

“Just to keep your eyes open, for both internal and external threats.”

Xigbar nodded. It felt a bit strange, just accepting treating Xehanort like the boss rather than their usual banter of teamwork, but his job description did claim that whoever sat in Ansem’s seat was his charge. Beyond the workplace, they still had their agreement.

Xigbar waved his goodbye and stepped out of the room. Alone again, Xehanort began searching through Ansem’s notes. Taking back his eye meant taking back anything else Ansem might have gotten from it.

Perhaps it was harsh, to destroy research, but it was Ansem’s own fault for obtaining it via questionable methods in the first place.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c

Lexaeus and Xaldin seemed fine when Xigbar checked in with them, despite their lost names. He’d thought again on how Xehanort had shared their true names with him, but also that he’d had an agreement with the demon, and he wasn’t going to be the one to break it first.

At least, not unless it was an emergency. That was his reasoning. The two other guards looked like they weren’t in any danger, but if that were to change due to what Xehanort had done, he had the means to help them.

Work had been uneventful that day otherwise. Posts had been planned in advance for Xigbar’s absence, so there wasn’t really much waiting for him. He didn’t want to hurt his reputation doing absolutely nothing, so he’d taken to whatever odd security jobs he could scrounge up from the others being too busy for it.

Xehanort didn’t have much to say when he’d gotten back home, either. Xigbar figured he’d have more information about the plan, but Xehanort simply walked in and started looking through the papers he’d taken home.

Something felt… off. It felt odd to say, considering how little Xigbar really knew about the enigma of Xehanort, but he didn’t have any other word for it. Xehanort didn’t really seem like the type to talk about his problems, though.

Xigbar flopped into bed and stared up at the ceiling. Should he at least make conversation?

His thoughts trailed back to his soulmate mark. He’d wanted to ask Xehanort at some point, he probably should before the demon was gone. “Hey… Xehanort?”

“Hm?”

“Demons have soulmate marks, right?”

“The human phenomenon of the name of one’s soulmate appearing over their heart? We don’t, no. Those of us interested in love find it the more difficult way.”

Xigbar struggled to imagine a life without a soulmate mark, even one as strange as his own. It was by no means illegal to date outside of what one’s mark wrote on them, but at least in Radiant Garden, most people didn’t. Teenagers made the majority perhaps, either to find their own answers to life or because they hadn’t received their mark yet, but many adults preferred the safety of fate when they wanted those lifetime partners. Xigbar was both intrigued and confused by the longevity of relationships in a realm where citizens relied on less sure factors to determine infatuation.

That wasn’t the current topic, though. Xigbar focused his mind back on his original question. “You do at least know about them.”

“I doubt I know as much as a researcher of the subject, but I am aware of some information.”

Xigbar nodded. “I’m not expecting you to get all philosophical about it, but… I was wondering if you could at least help me with a little issue that seems beyond human knowledge. You’re at least good with that part.”

Xehanort didn’t respond. Xigbar wasn’t quite sure if it was a yes or a no, so he tried to explain further. “I’ve never been able to read the name on mine. I don’t think it’s human, so I figure if you can’t read it you’d at least know who could. I’d imagine you know a lot more trustworthy beings in the magic business than I do.” He awkwardly gestured to the space around them, as if not wanting to call the example they both knew by name.

Still no response, not even acknowledgement of either of their qualms with Ansem. Xigbar was starting to find it frustrating. He was pouring his heart out about an issue that had plagued him before he’d even met the man they both hated, the least Xehanort could do was tell him to get lost. Anything to even point out he’d been listening at all.

Xigbar stood up and moved closer to Xehanort, hoping to corner him into a reaction. “Give me a chance here, will you? Just tell me if you can or can’t read it.”

“...I’ve already seen it.”

“You… what?” The answer had caught Xigbar’s self-consciousness off-guard. His hand instinctively flew to his body to make sure his scarf was still in place. “When?”

Except, given time and awareness to actually think on it, he already knew the answer to his question as Xehanort responded. “When you fainted after inheriting my collar. I needed to make sure you hadn’t died, and I caught sight of it as I was determining your state of health.”

“So, that means you know what it says?”

“Yes.”

Xigbar waited for an answer, but Xehanort didn’t seem too willing. “You feel like sharing, or is it that bad?”

Xehanort locked eyes with him, studying him. “You really don’t know?”

“Not a clue.”

To Xigbar’s surprise, Xehanort chuckled. “I make an effort to hide my true name from any being, a safety precaution among my kind. Yet, here you are, with it etched across your heart, and you’re unable to even read it.”

Xigbar processed the comment carefully. “I thought you said demons didn’t have soulmates.”

“I said we don’t have soulmate marks. Demons are plenty capable of having soulmates.” Xehanort tapped Xigbar’s chest. “This is evidence enough of that.”

Xigbar gripped his scarf tighter. “You’re absolutely positive this chicken scratch is your true name?”

“I am.” Xehanort grabbed a nearby notepad and slid it in front of himself and Xigbar. “Look.” He wrote in scribbles, until the message on the paper matched almost perfectly to the mark on Xigbar’s chest.

Xigbar stared at it, and looked at Xehanort. “I still can’t read that, and I have no idea what your true name is supposed to be.”

Xehanort sighed. “The name I gave to you, Xehanort, is a translated anagram of my true name. Here.” Below the previous scribbles, Xehanort wrote an X, and drew an arrow from the only part of the mark that made sense to the similarly shaped letter. From there, he explained that the demon language usually spliced letters together, and for the case of English, could be considered similar to pairing a consonant and a vowel. He wrote an E next to the X, and then an A and an O with space for another letter in front of each, stating that he’d chosen that as the order for his anagram. RT was apparently another set of letters spliced together, allowed to break the vowel rule due to prefixes and suffixes able to combine the demon equivalent of consonants. Xehanort had decided to leave the suffix in place when deciding his alias, as he drew an arrow down from the end of the scribbles to an RT he wrote next to the O. From there, Xehanort explained the rest of the lettering in a way that barely made sense to Xigbar, and the word “XEHANORT” was written below the scribbles that resembled his soulmate mark.

Xigbar took the paper out of Xehanort’s hand and stared closer at it. “Man, is every demon’s naming style this complicated?”

“No. I just found the concept of anagrams fascinating at the time.”

“Guess I can’t fault you for that.” Xigbar continued staring at the paper, soaking in the information. Admittedly, he was also just avoiding looking at Xehanort, given the suddenly awkward situation. “...Soulmates, huh?”

“Soulmates, it seems.”

There was a heavy silence between the two. “So… Now what?”

“Regarding your soulmate mark? We forget this little incident and continue our lives as if it never happened.”

Xigbar bit his lip. He felt silly, getting hurt over being turned down by a demon, it was probably what he should have expected, but it still stung. He’d put his life into meeting the person who matched his soulmate’s name, into allowing fate to show him what was in store for his future, into allowing it to determine who he was meant for, and suddenly it felt all for nothing.

It didn’t just sting. It burned.

Xehanort seemed to notice Xigbar’s hesitation. “You weren’t expecting a different answer, were you?”

Xigbar couldn’t really say he was expecting any answer. Was it possible for him to be disappointed by something he didn’t even think he had an opinion on?

Except, he realized he did have an opinion. Perhaps not with Xehanort in particular, but some subconscious part of him had clearly been making plans ever since the day he’d decided to put further research into his mark.

“Xigbar.” Xehanort’s voice had taken a clinical tone, stating facts rather than emotions. “My kind aren’t built to survive long in this realm. Even should you want me to stay, I need to leave eventually. Soulmates is no excuse for me to attempt clinging to this world bound to a collar, and there is a noticeably large gap between the lifespans of our respective species. Once I have my eye back, I have to return to my own realm. It would wear us both out attempting to fight that fate.”

Of course. On top of the new knowledge that Xigbar’s soulmate was a demon, on top of all the information Xehanort had just dumped on him, it hit Xigbar that once their contracts were up, he’d be saying goodbye to Xehanort. Forever.

Xigbar felt Xehanort guide him back toward his bed, and allowed the demon to tuck him into it. “We’re still searching for my eye tomorrow, I can’t have you exhausting yourself yet. If you feel we must continue this conversation, we can once the stakes aren’t quite as high.”

Xigbar wanted to argue that the stakes would always be high with a time limit looming over their heads, but he’d be wasting his breath arguing circles. One work-heavy day wasn’t nearly enough time for him to properly put together information either, but it was all he had.

He supposed he’d just have to make the most of it. Maybe by the end of the day, he’d have a better idea on what to do.

For the moment, there was nothing he could do but rest.


End file.
